So this is what some call "Living the American dream"

Here recently it has became clear where I am at in life. I am a 22 year old woman working 40+ hours a week at a dead end job due to my lack of education. I have started college 4 years after the stereo-typical person of my graduating class. I am struggling to keep my head above water currently, waiting for my student loan check to arrive so that I can get my oil changed (its past due by 100 miles) and pay off my credit card. Oh and get some new contacts....and fill a cavity or two. I live in an efficiency apartment. Its a bedroom with a kitchenette and a bathroom attached. ALONE. All alone. This being said I look around at my life and think could this seriously be the "American Dream?" Geez I sure hope not, there has got to be more than just getting by and struggling to survive....and being alone. Wow its disheartening more often than not to leave work only to arrive at an empty home, empty bed, empty space. I am left with homework, church activities, and racing thoughts to help manage the void. I know it seems like I'm complaining a lot. Lets be real here though. This is the current state of my heart and head. Seasons of life are inevitable. I just can't help but want to wish this one away. I want my American Dream to be so much more than this. I want to feel content with the things I have and I would really enjoy the company of someone next to me sharing all of it.

Is it a sad realization?

This evening a friend and I were speaking of our current passions, goals, dreams, ya know the normal in depth chat you tend to get into with your closest companions. She confessed to me that her new awakened dream is to eventually get married and have kids. Be a wife and a mom #1 dream. I cringed. I made it clear that I didn't approve. I didn't mean to it just happened. See I'm the type of gal that can't hide anything expression wise so I figured I would be honest. I don't know when the personality shift happened, but I can say it was sometime after December 2010. I once had money held over my head, I vowed I would never let that happen again. Call it a little bitter, senile; whatever IT IS WHAT IT IS. I want to be the main bread winner. I want to make enough for me then some extra! I'm not saying I don't want my "hypothetical future husband" to work. Of course he would contribute to the family's being as well...but I want to make more than him ;P. I want nothing more than to climb the corporate ladder somewhere and make a name for myself. MEG D. I want to be the best. Anyways I guess this realization is a bit bitter-sweet for me. My room mate from Germany always wanted to climb the corporate ladder and was super career oriented. She is now pregnant with her first child and is actually excited (she didn't want a child this soon originally) I used to tell her how envious I was of her balls to the walls, go get em, make that money attitude. Somehow the wires have got crossed and she has adopted my dream of being a mother. I have adopted her dream of a career, not quite a family. Sad realization? It just might be. It is just a season though. With any season it is sure to change with time.

I Like It When People Post Random Facts About Themselves

So here is my random fact blog

1. I floss everyday. I also brush my teeth twice a day following through with mouthwash. One could say I'm a little OCD about the care of my teeth

2. I drink 2 cups of coffee every morning. With 2 spoonfuls of splenda and a precise splash of fat free half and half

3. I own a personalized snuggie. It was a gift for Christmas one year. It was suppose to say "Lil Meg's Snuggie" but instead says "Meg's Lil Snuggie" - Either way, still gansta...thanks you 2 (you know who you are)

4. Several of my friends from high school have called me "the ugly duckling" Yes I was awkward but well I guess I grew out of it? Bahaha

5. I'm terrified of grasshoppers. I can handle the biggest baddest spider but throw a grasshopper or cricket on me and I will scream

6. My favorite artist is Botticelli, I have a calender with his works hanging on my wall at the current moment

7. My favorite sport to watch is basketball. I go crazy for some Thunder games!

8. The car I currently drive is my first car to ever purchase on my own

9. I have no idea what I want to be "when I grow up"

10. You can always find a pitcher full of kool-aid and a gallon of skim milk in my fridge

11. My favorite music artist of all time is John Mayer. He is my lover

12. This is my first time to live alone...completely alone. It is nice, I often wonder what I will do after my year lease is up. Luckily I have 9 months to ponder the question