What to expect when you are not expecting.

For several months now I have had the privilege of having not 1, not 2, but 3 children in my life about 3 days a week; their ages range from 6-12 and boy are they characters! These kids are not just any kids they are my boyfriend's family, his "crew" is what he likes to call them. As many of you know I personally am 23 with no children of my own, with that being said I figured it would be fun to write about some of the things I am learning as my life is transitioning and merging with my man's family. So far I have learned....

1. That Santa is actually a hard working crew consisting of both Billy and I dodging parents up and down the aisles of Target and Wal-Mart deciding on the best presents. Then patiently waiting up past our bedtime to ensure that the kids are passed out before one of us stuffs the stockings while the other stands guard and vise versus while the other sets up the x-box connect.

2. I have learned that kids will say whatever with no filter so put on your thick skin with em' around. So far the 12 year old has told me my cooking is terrible and that I somehow manage to screw up everything I cook. *Which for the record is only half-right...I mean I might have set off the smoke alarm this morning cooking sausage, but hey these things happen!

3. Sometimes your efforts are over-exhorted with little to no thank or appreciation; kids really just see the world revolving around them, but it makes it that much more special whenever they do notice and genuinely show gratitude.

4. Loud happens A LOT! 3 kids in one house can be insanely loud.

5. Funny happens, quite frequently! I have never been so entertained by another human in the manner of which these children do, they are hysterical more often than not.

6. Cooking becomes a fun activity rather than a tedious chore with a child helping out, although the pancake batter might be a little thin, the cookies a little lumpy, and the sausage patties a little thicker than usual it just becomes entertainment.

7. Sometimes things don't go as planned... glasses break, drinks get spilled, sticky things end up on the coffee table, and the house isn't spotless. This is called life and living perfection becomes imperfection...Turns out I just needed 3 precious kids to teach me this.

I Get A Kick Out Of You

“I get no kick from champagne. Mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all, so tell me why should it be true? I get a kick out of you. Some, they may go for cocaine. I'm sure that if I took even one sniff it would bore me terrifically, too. Yet I get a kick out of you.” – Frank Sinatra


Oh Frank I have always longed to feel the feeling described in the above lyrics, yet never have…that is until now. I have been so ridiculously blessed these past couple of weeks that I can’t quite contain myself. So I am giving up and writing about it, I have been in a very dry desert of a season for quite some time and well the storm has finally past. God has swept in and saved the day with a peace that surpasses all, regardless of my own wavering thoughts. I worried over finding a new job, but I gave it away to God. I was DONE with dating after 2 years of being the “single girl” I gave it a shot and got burned so I WAS DONE… but realized that wasn't the attitude I was supposed to have so I gave it to God. I was mad at myself because I wanted to be in the word more, but couldn't find the time. Then I gave it to God. I looked in the mirror and thought to myself who am I? I don’t even know who I am… but then I did what I had been consistently doing I laid it at his feet.


Then I found a resource for finding a new job. Though I have yet to find one I know there are resources available now! Also it just so happens I met this ridiculously hilarious/handsome man who loves God just as much as I do and well he is “best friend material”-step brothers inside joke. Lucky for me he saw how fantastic I am as well and snagged me as his girlfriend! (This man is hands down the one who makes me understand Frank’s quote I began the blog with.) Finally I know who I am and what I want now more than ever, because God has been shaping me into who he has called me to become!


As strange as it sounds with everything going so right it does make me look at the hard storm season past with bitter-sweet reminisce. Storms are there to draw us into Christ and when we get out of them we have to actively push towards him rather than being straight drawn into him. I am so blessed to be out of the storm and can finally see why I had to be sucked into the twister to be refined in the funnel and frenzy…To learn the art of daily depending on Christ to remain. Just remain.


I will one day look back on this post in a rainy season again sometime and find comfort and peace in the words I have spoken.

Lessons in a Recreated Studio Apartment

My apartment reminded me of chic vintage and travel...I had to condense all of my souvenirs into a room; it has been a challenge but I feel I did alright with what I am working with...

This evening has been quite the miracle, please let me elaborate. I live with my parents trying to keep debt to a minimum being a full-time student. For those who don't know, well moving back home can be tough as an adult! On top of this task I also live with a brother who isn't exactly the most considerate when it comes to the phrase "peace and quiet." By considerate I mean the only time there is complete silence in the home is whenever he is either gone or sleeping. However tonight is a true God-send, my brother is gone and both parents are asleep, did I mention it is only 10:00 pm!? So I took the liberty of pouring up a glass of wine, lighting a few candles, dimming the lights, and turning on some soft tunes of Jamie Cullum. Typing that out it totally sounds like I am trying to seduce someone, but I assure you I am not this is just my 100% favorite kind of living. Simple, peaceful, and a tad bit romantic without any real romance truly being present. Beautiful when one can actually stop the rat-race called life and appreciate the quiet spirit God has placed in each individual living under his grace. My challenge for you this week is to take a moment and appreciate life, even if it means recreating an entire atmosphere only to relax in. I promise you won't be disappointed, do yourself a favor and learn that there is so much more than the rat-race friends.

The Blessed Gift Of Relaxation: Priceless

As of lately I must call it out! I have indeed been a bit of a pessimist, as I am sure my blog has reflected this. For that fact I apologize, thank you for being a faithful reader even through the trials...Today was an exceptionally grand day and when you have such an incredible day in the middle of such a challenging time in life it can be a game changer. That being said let me tell you about my game changing day!

This morning I woke up less than enthused to rise and go listen to my pastor explain the dangers of debt; as you all know I am a college kid digging myself in that hole semester by semester especially by only working part time. But this series has really been digging deep into my soul, convicting me to strive harder, keep working full time and endure full time school as well, for it is all only for a season right? However you know how conviction works right? It is that consistent spiritual beckoning to change. If you know anything about me you know I don't do well with change. I once yearned for change in every way possible, but now I enjoy a steady/normal/non-changing environment and attitude. This morning I also knew my usual "Sunday Crowd" would not be at church so this fact also made my pillow fortress/bed seem all the more appealing. Somehow I managed to scramble around, throw on some well-worn jeans, and a cliche LifeChurch.Tv tee and head out the door. But not before slinging a cup coffee around while brushing my hair back into a disheveled excuse for a pony-tail and calling it "decent." Upon arrival I greeted a few friends and made my way to a seat near my 2 youth girls that consistently come to the 11:30 with their mother, it ended up being quite a nice change to worship with them on a Sunday rather than only the usual Wednesday evening.

After a compelling service I decided what my next step would be. Cut up and pay off my credit card, which is a huge step for me! Continue working a full time job to eliminate college debt, and pay off my car. I know these changes I have to make will be extreme but God will bless me through this I am certain...this brings me to the blessings. Here is what I experienced today.

1. Clarity on financial perspective: It is time to get serious and clean house.

2. An amazing sushi lunch, hour long massage, and Starbucks: From a friend who I have been doing her hair and son's hair for a hot minute. This was a gift I never ever even dreamed of receiving, but through blessing her with my talents she was able to bless me back today with the priceless gift of relaxation. I don't think she truly understands what a blessing she bestowed upon me today! We also stopped in a store called Lush in Penn Square Mall where we each splurged on beauty products. (It was my last splurge my final hurrah if you will of spending) I purchased some face-wash, face-mask, and a bath bomb...

3. A phenomenal life-group session: It was just nice! The weather was wonderful so we sat underneath the shaded trees in our favorite couple's backyard relating on the different stages of life we are currently in. Being transparent in our struggles and weaknesses.

4. Upon arriving home I decided it had been such a relaxing day I needed to end it with a bang. So I grabbed my bath bomb and headed for the tub! I have never purchased any sort of fancy bath bomb so I was a bit nervous, but within seconds of dropping the giant purple ball in my tub I was sold! It spun all around shooting out colors of first pink then blue traveling throughout my entire tub yet somehow never once hitting me! In the end my bathwater turned a deep purple with glitter shimmering throughout; hence the name of this bomb "Twilight" - the glitter shines as if it were stars in a dark sky. I felt like a kid again, finding entertainment within a bath accessory.

5. I got out of the tub feeling a little sad I had to wash all my pretty glitter and purple water away, but as I was applying my lotion I realized a little shimmer on leg...then I realized my whole body was still covered in tiny glitter "stars." This made my night, it truly is the little things in life. I am currently shining like a star literally.

6. This day renewed my hope, my spirit...it has given me the courage to rise another day at 5:00 AM and keep on at this battle known as life. Not to say I didn't have it in me to "live another day." I just have been feeling a bit discouraged, but today reminded me that though I might be beat down I am not broken. I am still alive and breathing and there is joy in my soul. It is well with my soul...and as for tonight well I am a glittery princess.

**Also I found a new bottle of tide on my bookshelf that my mom bought me while I was out seriously that stuff is expensive so that was a really cool blessing as well!**

Confessions in a Glass of Wine...

Setting the scene: I sit in my bed zebra print sheets disheveled around me, a faint song from a sophomore year "no name" band providing perfect background noise...(Taking Back Sunday to those of you who actually appreciate my narrative musical time machine), the soft glow of lamp-light cascading upon my silhouette and the laptop resting ever so gingerly upon my worn jeans. A glass of "Merlin" wine carefully placed upon a "Nutty Brunette" coaster I once took as a souvenir from a BJ's restaurant poised perfectly upon my night-stand. Now that you can visualize my writing atmosphere here is the true narrative of a story:

Amazing how when it rains it pours! But the beauty in the hail storm pelting down all around you is knowing eventually it has to end. Whether the hail balls are golf ball size or soft ball size they are "hail size" none-the-less and that crap hurts! I am still in the middle of my storm, but I have a feeling the hail is going to end soon. Who knows how much damage I will have to claim on insurance in the end; but it is okay. I am sure my insurance company will understand and cut me a sweet check in "wisdom." I read something here recently that pierced like a knife into my soul, James Macdonald writes in his book When Life is Hard "You're just trying to get by when Satan will come in and make a rush on you. You can find yourself stumbling and falling into thought patterns and action patterns that you thought were gone forever!" This has been my current battle daily; fighting the battles I thought were long gone from my heart, spirit, my very being. But that is what I have learned through this season so far is that during a "real hardship you are a target." Satan often times sees God's children going through a hardship caused by God to refine them and tries to twist it into something evil. He sees that every bit of your strength, resources, and energy are all going into surviving (Ref: James Macdonald.)

Currently that is where I am...people ask me how I am and I simply say I am surviving. "I am seeking God and I am surviving." It sounds pathetic and cheesy and I guess in a way it kind of is, but it is an honest answer at best. To be honest I am just a little irritated that not 1 but 2 people previously dear to me have managed to leave me alone picking up the pieces and wondering the infamous question of WHY? One may never know the real answer, but maybe that is the beauty of it. Could I handle the real honest answers of why? I don't know, but I do believe there is a reason I do not know why. I refuse to believe it is just coincidence, I believe there is protection of my heart in the grey areas of not knowing. My next step is accepting the events that have led up to this point and learning what I am expected to learn and move on. I feel stuck right now and very much a joke for not being able to just be like Jay Z and "Move onto the next one." Oh well. Time tells a story of healing and wisdom in each day that passes by so I will place my trust in this fact: God is good and he will restore my heart and being, until then I will faithfully seek him relentlessly.

I should be studying...or be asleep.

But I have a list of things swirling around me in my mind so I figure I will tell the world about them in an attempt to clear my head before I go to bed.

1. I approved my private student loan on Saturday, but tomorrow is Thursday and they still have yet to disburse it.

2. I need to fill my gas tank up in the morning

3. I need to buy shampoo and conditioner tomorrow morning

4. I am technically to broke to do either of these things but they are essentials; thank God for parents.

5. I apparently owe some doctor's office $230 for some crappy ex-rays done on my left ankle back in February. I owe another doctor's office $60 for some biopsies of my stomach that proved useless. This is because my health insurance company stinks...well did stink. Seeing as now I am a part time employee and no longer have any. I also dug myself in a hole of $350 for 2 fillings and a crown before I lost my dental insurance. Debt stinks and I currently have a lot.

6. I am overwhelmed by school. The whole atmosphere, actual in class assignments, and participation...and lack of someone to spend my lunch break with has me feeling awkward and more socially out of place than ever before. In high school I was Miss. Knows Everyone. In college I am Ms. Knows no-one.

7. I should really be reading my Spark Notes over The Canterbury Tales right now, or doing a small sheet of homework due tomorrow for humanities, or my minuscule amount of homework for my general math for education course. *Note I am doing none of the above*

8. I am back to "non-relationship focus on school Meg"... I know you might think it is a lonely place to be and you are right for the first week it was rough, but God is good and so are my friends and family. They have and are continuing to help me understand that this is spiritual growth I am experiencing and not in vain. I am not alone and more often than not I am okay. Complacent with Jesus and myself kickin it.

9. I am currently reading "When Life is Hard" by James Macdonald. I feel there is no better time than the present to read such a book.

10. All of this to say I AM LETTING GO! There is already a whirl-wind of chaos surrounding me so I might as well be sucked into the matter. God is going to take care of me, this I know for certain. I must stop and trust him and stop trying to figure it all out. Stop trying to guess God's next move is like this life is one big "celestial game of chess" we are playing guessing which pawn he will put into position next. WHO KNOWS!? AND WHO CARES!? He is God and I am not. For I am simply clay in the Potter's hands. - Isaiah 64:8

My whirlwind...From what I see it is chaos, from God's view it is love.

Wisdom Whispers Softly...This Is My Reality

A fellow blogger once gave me some wise words that I have hardly put into practice, he once said "Meg don't ever delete anything you blogged, no regret. Just let it be don't worry about what others think." So I am. I refuse to erase the words I have spoken previously...but I must throw out the disclaimer I was wrong. On that note I feel it is time to move on and tell you about my current state of being. I am going to "Real College" for the first time ever at UCO. I go to classes, have made friends, and feel a bit younger. I am on major specific courses now and have no doubt I was born to be an English Teacher! But as for now I work part time but have been asked to start working full-time again spring semester or find a new job. I let my guard down and I refuse to build it back up due to crumby circumstances. I have learned I am fearfully and wonderfully made, that being said I need not worry of today or tomorrow; Jesus has a unique story for my life and one day will get to hear it told from his perspective. I have now finally lost a substantial amount of weight. I am almost to the "return home from Germany round 1 weight." Which is pretty big time, I hate how I have had to get down to this number with the most recent 4 lbs. but it is what it is. I am learning each trial in my world is an opportunity to see joy while most see sadness. I see each one as a challenge to rise up and do the right thing. It is cool, my mentor pointed out that I myself was learning wisdom just yesterday. This was by far the BEST compliment I could ever receive especially in light of the current situations within my world. I guess I am growing up, very bitter-sweet. I don't have much to say other than Life Still Goes On! ...Keeping my heels high and my standards higher. No regrets. Life is too short for such nonsense.

An Updated Favorite List! Just in Case you are Curious...

1. My favorite song of all time is probably "The Gambler" by Fun. it is a beautiful love story enclosed cleverly within a song. Go check it out, I also saw Fun. in concert this year; one of the best concerts I have been to yet.


2. Letters & Cards oh my goodness it is such a dead art of communication now days, but seriously I have a very special someone who sends me cards and letters regularly and it is pretty much the coolest thing ever, thank you USPS!


3. My favorite movie of all time is probably "Midnight in Paris" I just relate with it completely hard to explain, but it is pretty much a magical romantic comedy. Watch it.


4. I have successfully completed my first year of college in exactly 1 week.


5. Some people read different things for fun. I have realized I personally prefer the classics, or something of substance that I learn things from, spiritual readings, and of course the Bible. My co-worker made fun of me about this fact, but I just said man the Bible has some crazy stories in it! Daniel and the Lions Den, Noah's Ark, Jonah and the Whale...those are real crazy stories regardless. haha


6. My favorite coffee cup is an oversized "Chicago" cup I purchased from a Starbucks during one of my many trips home from Germany


7. I am learning to budget not that I am perfect at it, but at the age of 23 I think I am getting the concept.


8. I start work part-time in exactly one week from today


9. I have lost 25 pounds over the course of 9 months, it has not been easy and I still "ideally" still have 15 to go, but I have done it none the less!


10. I have opened my heart back up again. After 2 years of running around staying closed off and reserved, I know how to feel again...and it feels good.

WHEN THE PUBLIC DEMANDS A TITLE, BUT YOU REQUIRE TIME...

So there is this guy...yes. This is how the blog shall start, so deal with it or just stop reading now! Anyways I think he is one cool cat, I mean he thinks like me, he balances my craziness, and he treats me like a princess (I know this term is highly over-used but for real it is ridiculous...in a good way!) That being said we are not the "stereo-typical" 2012 relationship, actually we are technically in no-relationship at all at the moment. If you have read my blog since the beginning there is a particular post in which I describe my idea of romance based on 2 single books I read that rocked my world and perspective on dating and marriage. It is one of the first post back on March 8, 2011 titled "There is No Modern Romance." Check it out if ya didn't get the chance! Anyways, one thing I didn't write in this blog was the author's first kiss with his wife on his wedding day. To me that is probably the most old fashioned romantic idea ever and I TOTALLY DIG IT! That being said, I am inclined to want a specific pattern of romance to commence before getting married that could lead to such a phenomenal event, yet I had yet to meet anyone as crazy as myself to even consider such bold/crazy/extreme/modest ideas in romance. I had accepted that I would be alone for quite some time and I was okay with that challenge...I had a goal and that would be my next relationship "playing for keeps, for forever." (Enters this boy) then all of the sudden everyone wants a definition on our non-relationship that has only been about 3 months total. No one understands our logic of building a solid friendship as a basis of a relationship, the bottom line is in 2012 people don't wait they rush...to the feeling of someone near, the emotional, the physical, all of it so impatiently. My generation is indeed the microwave generation "I NEED IT RIGHT NOW! 5 MINS. OR LESS!" One day I want to have a wedding invitation that reads "Please join us for our first kiss." and have so much anticipation built up I can hardly stand it! Cheesy as it sounds those are my standards, and patience is just part of the process. After a lot of speculation I felt it was time to throw this out, I like a boy, he likes me, we are just different so even if you don't comprehend or understand why anyone would dream of such a thing you now know why there is no title for at least 3 more months. We are making sure we have a solid friendship to build off of and not base this whole thing off of lust and impatience, but on God and patient persistence. It is what it is.

Antagonists, Algebra, A's, and an Acceptance Letter....

This summer I decided to be an over-achiever, I took 9 hours of college consisting of Intermediate Algebra, Psychology, and Philosophy. Over the past 4 weeks I have pushed myself to the max, expecting nothing less than A's in all of my classes. Most of you all know I have always struggled with math (hence the reason I am in Intermediate math and not College Algebra) well this summer math course is quite frankly kicking my tail. I mean I have never struggled so much in a single class. Along with this struggle I am really fighting to make an A in my Psychology class, but I fear my teacher isn't a huge fan of me (which I feel is quite odd due to the fact that it is online...I mean how is that even possible right!?) anyways that being said I have several antagonists at the moment consisting of 1)Algebra 2)One specific Professor who shall remain nameless 3)My co-worker who also will remain nameless who overheard a conversation of mine about my trials and responded with "Well we should probably just get a noose and hang her with it to put her out of her misery." Yup that happened today...but instead reacting angrily I turned the other cheek, I just looked at this individual and asked "Really?" Then proceeded to help this individual out at the end of the day. God gave me grace, though my feelings were extremely hurt as I really have had quite a rough season this past month with a knee injury, stresses of school, and lack of sleep I had let the negativity set into my mind with no intention of doing so. But even so all I could think was "Do unto others..." So I did. Anyways long story short I had a series of unfortunate events happen throughout the day and accepted that things will get better in time (Aka when I have time to schedule a doctors appointment and when summer school is over.) The beauty of today however occurred when I got home I had on my bed an unopened package from the University of Central Oklahoma. I thought to myself "Welp here is my letter saying that they have rejected me until I have all my OSU-OKC summer college credits in place on my final transcript from there; since that is indeed what the transfer counselor had warned me of last Thursday. What a terribly perfect ending to this perfectly terrible day." Upon opening I was flabbergasted by the acceptance letter glaring back at me, the President made an exception and I was accepted! God threw me a curve ball with this one, it was the most surprising gift I have received from him in quite sometime! I am so glad that even on my worst of worst days he still blesses me even when I throw myself self-righteous pity parties. I am blessed. Even in a season of trials and endurance.

Priorities...or lack there of.

The past 3 weeks I have had off from school, this was the perfect number of weeks to have a break from school. Since I am new at this whole college thing I feel I might never go back if I do allow myself a summer vacation. I have decided to endure the summer classes for the next 2-3 years to come (My major is education so I figure I will get my summers back eventually). Anyways that being said I have been trying to "super prioritize" my vacant 3 weeks, during this time I have realized I am probably one of the most inefficient time-managers here on planet Earth. After work today I just sat down in my floor and had a mini freak out session. "It wasn't those I am crying my eyes out cause I am overwhelmed moment" more like a scream with no purpose because "I need to buy hangers to hang the plethora of clothing I have clean folded with no place to put them away, I need a place to hang my necklaces, bracelets, and earrings, I need to find a bigger dresser, I need to buy school-books, I need to go scrub and shoe shopping, I need to wash my car and vacuum it, I need time to read my lists of 3 books I am desperately wanting to read for fun, but most of all I need time with my God." Yup confession I get super cranky when I don't get my quiet time, prayer drive to work, and devotion time during the day. Today was one of those days I woke up too late, got stuck in a downpour on the drive to work missing out on my ample prayer time, then I had to run downstairs at lunch because I forgot my water bottle due to the running late and therefore missed my routine devotion time during lunch, I got home and pondered upon what is keeping me from doing everything. It is myself. I try to be everything for everyone all the time. I end up in pure exhaustion with nothing left to give. Therefore I neglect the true priorities that God commands me to make a daily effort with. Jesus wants me to spend time with him each day, he wants me to take a true Sabbath and just rest. Psalm 46:10 practically screams it to us "BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD!" How do I miss this each day and exalt my other selfish desires before the one who tells me I am fearfully and wonderfully made?(reference verse Psalm 139:14) My prayer as I enter this intense summer college session is that I would be purposeful to prioritize my life around Christ and rest in him alone even if this means turning down my very best friend on a "hang out session" because I haven't had my "hang out session with God" that day. I know this life is not my own and I am here only to glorify him, I feel a consistent spirit rising within me saying "Remain, be patient, know I am faithful, and know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (reference verse Romans 8:28) I am confident that Proverbs 16:3 is pure truth "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." Whether it be re-prioritizing or chasing a career or college degree...I know my plans are the desires of my soul and convictions on my heart, I pray yours are as well.

Confession : Christians Sometimes Drive Bad.

A couple months back my church kind of in a way campaigned a well-known bumper sticker to highly influence the public to come visit our church while driving...One particular Sunday I slipped out into the lobby and sheepishly slid one into my purse. The sticker has somehow traveled from my purse to my notebook in which I take my notes every Sunday, a consistent reminder that I have yet to place this sticker on my vehicle. Every time I see this sticker I think about it...how I should just go wash my car, pick the proper placement, and just commit. You know commit to my church and of course Jesus Christ who will be so proud when he sees me "inadvertently witnessing to all the lost souls on the highway everyday!" But I just can't and here is why, most days Monday-Friday I tend to run behind in the morning for work, I make a 15-20 minute commute from Yukon to the N.W. side of OKC and well lets just say Jesus doesn't always ride "shot-gun" with me on my way. I weave in and out of traffic, speed more times than not, and sometimes I might just follow one who drives slow a tad too close for comfort. Though I have gotten better with what I tend to consider "always-late anxiety road rage" I still have a lot of learning to soak up in the patience department when it comes to being behind the wheel. Then there is Sunday morning for some reason every Sunday my dress doesn't fit just right, my makeup takes an abnormally long amount of time to apply, or my hair won't sit just so causing me to rush once again, this time to church instead of work. I will occasionally get so worked up over being behind a slow car and catch myself thinking "REALLY!? Meg it is your fault you are late and now you are getting all worked up on the SABBATH! On the one day of the week you are suppose to be chill and rest in the Holy Spirit..geez you are lame." Yes I sometimes think in 3rd person haha. Anyways the past couple weeks I have noticed a whole lot of bad drivers around me...several of them sporting my church's famous bumper sticker. All the while thinking "I am so glad I don't sport that sticker like them so no one can associate me as that one speeding super sinner from that one church." Anyways then I realized wait a minute we are all sinners and lets be honest we all pretty much believe most people other than ourselves suck at driving. That being established I think it is time to finally succumb and place the sticker on my car. This is seriously a blog over my convictions over a bumper sticker. That is all.

"Where is your Mr. Right my love?"

A friend's mother who I dearly love and adore recently stated "Meg I just don't understand how you have not managed to meet your Mr. Right yet! I mean you are just so personable I just don't get it." I hadn't seen her in a bit and I guess she was a little taken back at the fact that I have for the most part been alone now for 2 years. Of course when someone says something of this manner it gets your wheels spinning...so naturally I started thinking all of these thoughts. "Why haven't I met my Mr. Right? Did I miss him in the Starbucks down the street from work while ordering my tall skinny vanilla latte, upside down? Did I brush shoulders with him last Sunday at my church? What if I haven't missed him at all? What if there is just something wrong with me? Maybe I need to drop 20 lbs, change my hair color, or change my giggly outrageous personality to one that is more adult and refined, that is why I haven't found him!" Then I had to hit the brakes in my mind...doubt had clouded my head and I needed it shut it out. I took two steps back and re-evaluated the situation. "No there is nothing wrong with me, I just happen to keep my heels high and my standards higher. I do not have a Mr. Right because I am still being refined and renewed through Christ daily so one day I can be Ms. Right for Mr. Right. Therefore I need not worry, God has me on his plan for my life and it is not my own. God's map for my life is a beautiful journey in which only he sees the final destination as cliche as it sounds I believe it with all of my heart. I am holding out for that one who is holding out for me right now, though I have yet to meet him I am confident he is out there being refined by God as well. For now all of my love is directed to the one who gave me love and reminds me daily of the love he has for me. I am whole and complete in his presence. No Mr. Right necessary :)

Old Fashioned Letters and Love Stories

I have been in quite the romantic mood, which is hilarious due to the fact that I am not dating nor even "talking" to anyone at the current moment. One might ask "How could you possibly in a romantic mood with no romantic interest?" Well I would say it is due to my recent purchase of scented candles, current listening pleasures of Michael Buble, Frank Sinatra, and Jamie Cullum, and there is the purchase of last night Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet (the 1997 version staring Leonardo DiCaprio) from the DVD bargain bin at Wal-Mart...oh and I also recently watched Little Women crying hysterically at the end when Jo and the Professor end up together (Yes I am that girl). Also I am really wanting to see Titanic in 3D because I mean come on it is Titanic in 3D! Need I say more!? Okay now that I have that confession out here is my other one, I want to start consistently writing letters to those who are dear to me...seriously snail mail letters. I think there is something so sentimental, nostalgic, heart-warming, and of course in the right context romantic about a little envelope addressed in another person's writing rather than the typed out print we have become so immune to throughout the past decade or two. Plus you know all the great love stories in life never began with "Well we met, I added him on facebook, he got my number off there, then we went on a date." Where is the romance and passionate pursuit in that? I want an old fashioned kind of courtship one fine day, letter writing and all! Hahaha ;) So please if you would enjoy some personal "snail-mail" send me your address via facebook message and I would love to write you sometime. Only under the pretense that you are obliged of course to write back as well, you know it takes two to tango lovelies!

In a Europe State of Mind

Yes. Blogspot you officially are my one form of social media left. I don't actually count you as social media due to the fact that not many people read you nor reach out on your dear page. But tonight I must post that I am longing for Europe. It seems ever since my year and a half of living on and off that phenomenal continent I just can't get my fill of it all. I still need to see Italy, Greece, Poland, The Czech Republic, Romania, Spain... The UK. I wish those in my life whom are closest to me could understand the inner disheveled emotions that stir within my soul pertaining to this other side of the world. It is somewhat of an estranged lover that is constantly coming in and out of my life toying with my feelings, yet I can't seem to get this ridiculous craving of other cultures out of my heart. I know I have overly-romanced the idea of living over there far too many times to count but I do believe half of my heart is still waiting for me over there to return and travel. This is my love letter to Europe tonight, I promise I will return for you again one fine day.

Sincerely,

Meg D.

The Big 2-3. Education. Dream Shift.

Man it has been a hot minute since my last post! So here it is, I am now the big 23! My 23rd birthday was honestly 10 times better than my 21st, how crazy is that!? I had a blast with some of my closest friends in the entire world. I am currently in my 2nd semester in college holding a 4.0 GPA (yes there is a first time for everything world.) I have never been one of "those" students, you know the ones 4.0 graduating honors blah blah blah...but I love challenging myself to be the best. It is a fun game I now play, how can I excel the most in my full time job and right under full time school? Does it sound lame and cheesy? Why yes, but hey "It is what it is." I have finally decided to quit fighting my original dream in life of becoming a teacher; though I know they do not make all that much well it is my passion. I am in love with the English language, the literature that accompanies it and the girls I mentor at youth every Wednesday night. All of that being said I have changed my major to secondary education. The moment I changed it I felt a solid weight lifted off my shoulders, so amazing how things feel like they fall into place when you follow God's goals for you and not your own selfish ambitions? There are some other things in life that are slowly unfolding and I think its going to be amazing. Just living life one day at a time and seeing God's beauty in all of it, he is so gracious. <3