Webster's Dictionary defines fickle as marked by lack of steadfastness, constancy, or stability : given to erratic changeableness. If I owned a dictionary I would probably write Megan DuPriest out in the margin. 2011 is winding down, I can't help but break it down a bit and evaluate where I'm currently sitting. I had a romanticized idea of moving out to the city, making more than enough to survive, meeting someone I genuinely cared about, learn how to love again. Yes believe it or not this was my somewhat check list I had in my mind of "to dos." Instead I moved out, realized I can hardly make it from one paycheck to the next, I met a couple of men I cared nothing about, and learned that there isn't too much out there in the "love" department. There was one though I liked him. So I shut it down, the feelings. I tried to remind myself of how numb I was to everyone around including the closest of family and friends. I couldn't deny it though I was reminded there was something beating in my chest. Its over of course and I can't really say who was to blame. I suppose it was me for literally feeding myself lines out loud in order to convince myself I have no heart, no desire for love or marriage, no feelings or concerns about the opposite sex. This is where the fickleness of myself comes into play, I can literally convince myself I am a.o.k. without heartache, romance, and all the other junk associated with that four letter word love. In the core of my very being though is the desire to be loved, by God, family, friends, and hopefully one day a significant other. Confession of the night there is still a girl who is silly enough to believe its still out there....Love. I do still believe.
1 Corinthians 13:8 "Love Never Fails."
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