Pin ups and being Plump

It all started in the 6th grade. Yes I remember it like yesterday...I became a woman, all of the sudden I got hips and probably 30 extra pounds. No boy liked me, which is a huge deal when you are in the 6th grade. So the cycle of self-confidence started, I was unhappy and huge. By the 8th grade I lost the weight and felt great again (I lost the weight because I hung out with girls who were obsessed with theirs so it was only natural I became obsessed with mine) Then freshmen year hit, it was another level of weight gain. With all the new people I met in high school and the new level of social pressure I once again got fat. This year is whenever I realized I was an emotional eater leaning on food for comfort. Sophomore year I lost it gradually again. See the problem is though I became obsessed with the scale during this time, and I had the most distorted image of myself, I was so thin and looked so good and in my head I thought I was STILL a cow. Hair school, I had the owner of the school look at me and say "Megan you sure have gained quite a bit of weight here." I told him I would lose it after I got out of his stupid school, a month later I came back and had dropped 30 pounds just to prove to him I could. Ever since sophomore year I have been obsessed with the scale. I hate that little device that tells me what a failure I am, how could I let myself get to the unthinkable weight I was 2 months ago? I am writing this because I think it is unfair the social pressure us woman have on us to look a certain way, be a certain weight, constantly be aware of our # on the scale. I have lived like this my whole life, and I refuse to live it anymore. From now on I will weigh once a month (this is progress because at the moment I weigh once to twice daily) and I am refusing to judge myself because of the # I see but rather the way my body looks. I have been running for about 2 months now and have seen an amazing transformation in my legs alone whether my scale can see it or not! I wish we could rewind to these days, I'm pretty sure I would be a stud ;)