I decided to start blogging today.

Everyone has a hobby, something they love and enjoy. I love reading, scrapbooking, and keeping myself busy with my friends. It seems as though my thoughts are flowing 24/7 and I'm just not sure how to handle all of these crazy thoughts and feelings. I am 21 and feel as though I am 31. I am currently going through a divorce and its consumes my thoughts. Its the majority of what I think about on a daily basis. I guess the part that doesn't make sense is that I am the one divorcing him. Its not vice versa but you see he asked me for a divorce two times prior to me actually saying okay lets do this. I loved him and truly wanted it to work but well whenever push came to shove I had to get out for myself. For my future. For my mental sanity. So this is how I am going to cope. This is how I am going to let go of it. I am going to blog. I am going to write whatever I feel like writing and not worry about friends and famiy judging me for my thoughts and opinions. I have decided to not date for a year. Yes a year. and yes I am 21....which is pretty insane, you see whenever I turned 16 I got my first real boyfriend. Ever since then I have been a serial monogomous...the girl who goes from one serious relationship to the next ever since 16. Even up until my marriage. So this no men in 2010 thing is super new and kinda scary. So far its been 5 months and I feel like I'm doing awesome....but then there are those times the times when I want nothing more than to have someone consistanly next to me to enjoy life together. Here is my deal though I love Jesus. Since the divorce I have been making a high standard list of things I want in a man. Even my friends think I have set my standards too high, but really is it to much to ask to have a God-fearing man whom would love nothing more than to go to Church with me every Sunday. Someone who wants a courtship vs. a dating spell. I want someone to forever pursue me. Bring me flowers just because. Travel the world and go on adventures with. Is that really too much to ask for? I guess it is in 2010.... I guess I'm just an old fashioned girl stuck in modern society. Ahhhh see I feel so much better just getting this post out. I look forward to blogging more.