Priorities...or lack there of.

The past 3 weeks I have had off from school, this was the perfect number of weeks to have a break from school. Since I am new at this whole college thing I feel I might never go back if I do allow myself a summer vacation. I have decided to endure the summer classes for the next 2-3 years to come (My major is education so I figure I will get my summers back eventually). Anyways that being said I have been trying to "super prioritize" my vacant 3 weeks, during this time I have realized I am probably one of the most inefficient time-managers here on planet Earth. After work today I just sat down in my floor and had a mini freak out session. "It wasn't those I am crying my eyes out cause I am overwhelmed moment" more like a scream with no purpose because "I need to buy hangers to hang the plethora of clothing I have clean folded with no place to put them away, I need a place to hang my necklaces, bracelets, and earrings, I need to find a bigger dresser, I need to buy school-books, I need to go scrub and shoe shopping, I need to wash my car and vacuum it, I need time to read my lists of 3 books I am desperately wanting to read for fun, but most of all I need time with my God." Yup confession I get super cranky when I don't get my quiet time, prayer drive to work, and devotion time during the day. Today was one of those days I woke up too late, got stuck in a downpour on the drive to work missing out on my ample prayer time, then I had to run downstairs at lunch because I forgot my water bottle due to the running late and therefore missed my routine devotion time during lunch, I got home and pondered upon what is keeping me from doing everything. It is myself. I try to be everything for everyone all the time. I end up in pure exhaustion with nothing left to give. Therefore I neglect the true priorities that God commands me to make a daily effort with. Jesus wants me to spend time with him each day, he wants me to take a true Sabbath and just rest. Psalm 46:10 practically screams it to us "BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD!" How do I miss this each day and exalt my other selfish desires before the one who tells me I am fearfully and wonderfully made?(reference verse Psalm 139:14) My prayer as I enter this intense summer college session is that I would be purposeful to prioritize my life around Christ and rest in him alone even if this means turning down my very best friend on a "hang out session" because I haven't had my "hang out session with God" that day. I know this life is not my own and I am here only to glorify him, I feel a consistent spirit rising within me saying "Remain, be patient, know I am faithful, and know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (reference verse Romans 8:28) I am confident that Proverbs 16:3 is pure truth "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." Whether it be re-prioritizing or chasing a career or college degree...I know my plans are the desires of my soul and convictions on my heart, I pray yours are as well.

Confession : Christians Sometimes Drive Bad.

A couple months back my church kind of in a way campaigned a well-known bumper sticker to highly influence the public to come visit our church while driving...One particular Sunday I slipped out into the lobby and sheepishly slid one into my purse. The sticker has somehow traveled from my purse to my notebook in which I take my notes every Sunday, a consistent reminder that I have yet to place this sticker on my vehicle. Every time I see this sticker I think about it...how I should just go wash my car, pick the proper placement, and just commit. You know commit to my church and of course Jesus Christ who will be so proud when he sees me "inadvertently witnessing to all the lost souls on the highway everyday!" But I just can't and here is why, most days Monday-Friday I tend to run behind in the morning for work, I make a 15-20 minute commute from Yukon to the N.W. side of OKC and well lets just say Jesus doesn't always ride "shot-gun" with me on my way. I weave in and out of traffic, speed more times than not, and sometimes I might just follow one who drives slow a tad too close for comfort. Though I have gotten better with what I tend to consider "always-late anxiety road rage" I still have a lot of learning to soak up in the patience department when it comes to being behind the wheel. Then there is Sunday morning for some reason every Sunday my dress doesn't fit just right, my makeup takes an abnormally long amount of time to apply, or my hair won't sit just so causing me to rush once again, this time to church instead of work. I will occasionally get so worked up over being behind a slow car and catch myself thinking "REALLY!? Meg it is your fault you are late and now you are getting all worked up on the SABBATH! On the one day of the week you are suppose to be chill and rest in the Holy Spirit..geez you are lame." Yes I sometimes think in 3rd person haha. Anyways the past couple weeks I have noticed a whole lot of bad drivers around me...several of them sporting my church's famous bumper sticker. All the while thinking "I am so glad I don't sport that sticker like them so no one can associate me as that one speeding super sinner from that one church." Anyways then I realized wait a minute we are all sinners and lets be honest we all pretty much believe most people other than ourselves suck at driving. That being established I think it is time to finally succumb and place the sticker on my car. This is seriously a blog over my convictions over a bumper sticker. That is all.

"Where is your Mr. Right my love?"

A friend's mother who I dearly love and adore recently stated "Meg I just don't understand how you have not managed to meet your Mr. Right yet! I mean you are just so personable I just don't get it." I hadn't seen her in a bit and I guess she was a little taken back at the fact that I have for the most part been alone now for 2 years. Of course when someone says something of this manner it gets your wheels spinning...so naturally I started thinking all of these thoughts. "Why haven't I met my Mr. Right? Did I miss him in the Starbucks down the street from work while ordering my tall skinny vanilla latte, upside down? Did I brush shoulders with him last Sunday at my church? What if I haven't missed him at all? What if there is just something wrong with me? Maybe I need to drop 20 lbs, change my hair color, or change my giggly outrageous personality to one that is more adult and refined, that is why I haven't found him!" Then I had to hit the brakes in my mind...doubt had clouded my head and I needed it shut it out. I took two steps back and re-evaluated the situation. "No there is nothing wrong with me, I just happen to keep my heels high and my standards higher. I do not have a Mr. Right because I am still being refined and renewed through Christ daily so one day I can be Ms. Right for Mr. Right. Therefore I need not worry, God has me on his plan for my life and it is not my own. God's map for my life is a beautiful journey in which only he sees the final destination as cliche as it sounds I believe it with all of my heart. I am holding out for that one who is holding out for me right now, though I have yet to meet him I am confident he is out there being refined by God as well. For now all of my love is directed to the one who gave me love and reminds me daily of the love he has for me. I am whole and complete in his presence. No Mr. Right necessary :)

Old Fashioned Letters and Love Stories

I have been in quite the romantic mood, which is hilarious due to the fact that I am not dating nor even "talking" to anyone at the current moment. One might ask "How could you possibly in a romantic mood with no romantic interest?" Well I would say it is due to my recent purchase of scented candles, current listening pleasures of Michael Buble, Frank Sinatra, and Jamie Cullum, and there is the purchase of last night Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet (the 1997 version staring Leonardo DiCaprio) from the DVD bargain bin at Wal-Mart...oh and I also recently watched Little Women crying hysterically at the end when Jo and the Professor end up together (Yes I am that girl). Also I am really wanting to see Titanic in 3D because I mean come on it is Titanic in 3D! Need I say more!? Okay now that I have that confession out here is my other one, I want to start consistently writing letters to those who are dear to me...seriously snail mail letters. I think there is something so sentimental, nostalgic, heart-warming, and of course in the right context romantic about a little envelope addressed in another person's writing rather than the typed out print we have become so immune to throughout the past decade or two. Plus you know all the great love stories in life never began with "Well we met, I added him on facebook, he got my number off there, then we went on a date." Where is the romance and passionate pursuit in that? I want an old fashioned kind of courtship one fine day, letter writing and all! Hahaha ;) So please if you would enjoy some personal "snail-mail" send me your address via facebook message and I would love to write you sometime. Only under the pretense that you are obliged of course to write back as well, you know it takes two to tango lovelies!

In a Europe State of Mind

Yes. Blogspot you officially are my one form of social media left. I don't actually count you as social media due to the fact that not many people read you nor reach out on your dear page. But tonight I must post that I am longing for Europe. It seems ever since my year and a half of living on and off that phenomenal continent I just can't get my fill of it all. I still need to see Italy, Greece, Poland, The Czech Republic, Romania, Spain... The UK. I wish those in my life whom are closest to me could understand the inner disheveled emotions that stir within my soul pertaining to this other side of the world. It is somewhat of an estranged lover that is constantly coming in and out of my life toying with my feelings, yet I can't seem to get this ridiculous craving of other cultures out of my heart. I know I have overly-romanced the idea of living over there far too many times to count but I do believe half of my heart is still waiting for me over there to return and travel. This is my love letter to Europe tonight, I promise I will return for you again one fine day.

Sincerely,

Meg D.

The Big 2-3. Education. Dream Shift.

Man it has been a hot minute since my last post! So here it is, I am now the big 23! My 23rd birthday was honestly 10 times better than my 21st, how crazy is that!? I had a blast with some of my closest friends in the entire world. I am currently in my 2nd semester in college holding a 4.0 GPA (yes there is a first time for everything world.) I have never been one of "those" students, you know the ones 4.0 graduating honors blah blah blah...but I love challenging myself to be the best. It is a fun game I now play, how can I excel the most in my full time job and right under full time school? Does it sound lame and cheesy? Why yes, but hey "It is what it is." I have finally decided to quit fighting my original dream in life of becoming a teacher; though I know they do not make all that much well it is my passion. I am in love with the English language, the literature that accompanies it and the girls I mentor at youth every Wednesday night. All of that being said I have changed my major to secondary education. The moment I changed it I felt a solid weight lifted off my shoulders, so amazing how things feel like they fall into place when you follow God's goals for you and not your own selfish ambitions? There are some other things in life that are slowly unfolding and I think its going to be amazing. Just living life one day at a time and seeing God's beauty in all of it, he is so gracious. <3

"So This Is The New Year"

I love the end of the year. It is one of the best times to look back and reflect on what has happened in one's life in the previous 12 months. I can't believe it has already been almost a year since I have been home again. Let me just tell you a little about 2011. I went to my first set of playoff games for the OKC Thunder and fell in love with basketball. My oldest sister tied the knot. I stumbled upon a job that has led me to pursuing a career one of which I am not quite sure of. I have started back to college after 4 years of being out of high school. I moved into my very own apartment all by myself for a solid 6 months. I ran my first 5k. I climbed Mt. Scott. I intentionally spent the vast majority of the year single, as I have learned it is better to be alone and happy rather than together and miserable. I have become comfortable in my own skin. 2011 has been a year of complete transition for me, though I would like to say in 2012 I will have it all figured out I fear that will not be the case. Life is always transitional, this is also what I have learned this year. One thing you can always count on consistently is change. Change is oh so inevitable, but it is how one reacts to change that defines a person. Things change, though I can't tell you where my life is going I am positive about my future. 2011 was a beautiful mess of a year and part of me is a bit sad to see it leave. Another part of me is so pumped for 2012....Lets see what firsts are in store next year! Here is my year 2011 in picture form