"One of the guys"

Whenever I was in high school I had so many guy friends. I was proud to be "one of the guys" you know the girl that hung out with all the dudes but never got hit on. Anyways here I am 22 years of age in the same place. I am once again "one of the guys." The problem is I don't want to be "one of the guys" anymore. I have tried so hard to shake this image. I do my hair and make up daily. I wear heels. I wear dresses. Yet somehow I manage to only have platonic friendships with the opposite sex. All this being said its hard for me to understand how I have fallen into this strange gap of being "one of the guys" again. I guess I have just noticed this recently as I have several guy friends whom are all stinkin awesome!!!! I just can't help but wonder....will I always be in the friend zone with ALL men? Please don't get me wrong I am soooooo content right now in my singleness. If I had a boyfriend I probably couldn't handle it... well maybe if it was the right person haha. But well its nice to be complimented sometimes by someone who isn't currently in a relationship or a friend of the same sex.I'm the awkward platonic friend.... That's all I got for the evening.

The Bachlorette Pad

Whenever I was younger I dreamed of moving out at the age of 18. In my dreams I was a single woman with a perfect home. Yes perfect, every room had a theme. I think at that point in my life my bathroom was to be beach themed, my kitchen was to be farm themed, living room all modern black and white everything. Oh and I was also a lawyer in my dreams hahaha. Anyways now that I am 22 I am finally getting the opportunity to have my "dream home". Okay so its not some huge fancy 3 bedroom two bath home. It is a studio. One kitchenette. One bathroom. One space that makes up my bedroom and living room. (but I do have my themes picked even for a tiny house kitchen: coffee bathroom: paris studio: black & white w/red accents) Let me tell you about this little place. I had been praying to God for several months to send me somewhere cheap and safe to live within Oklahoma City (and if you know okc then you know cheap & safe don't really belong in the same sentence together) Then one day it popped up an apartment on craigslist. It was listed in Edgemere which is a historical neighborhood about 10 mins from where I currently work. You see Edgemere has 24/7 armed security patrolling the neighborhood, so seeing this add on craigslist had me in a frenzy as I knew how great of a deal it was! So I tried contacted Herb (my now land lord) several times no answer. Finally I texted him Sunday still no answer. I was getting impatient so I drove over to the house to see it myself then suddenly I got a text it was him wanting to meet to see the apartment in 20 mins! I walked in and fell in love! I knew it was the place for me. My parents came the next day and gave me their blessing. I move in July 2nd! I'm so stoked. God is so good!

*P.S. Fun facts Edgemere is 2 mins from the Paseo Arts District, 4 mins from Midtown, and 9 mins from Bricktown (aka amazing location!)

Why Georgia?

Confession. Every time I feel weary or unsure of my paths I listen to John Mayer's Why Georgia. Though I'm not 25 nor near a quarter life crisis, well I can relate. "So what so I've got a smile on? Its hiding the quiet superstitions in my head. Don't believe me don't believe me when I say I've got it down!" I have such great plans for the near future and I hold my head high as I smile confidently reciting them to all who inquire. But well on the inside I have my doubts. Will I be smart enough to conquer this stirring in my soul to become an R.N.? Will I have the patience and dedication to stay on top of my college classes? Will I still have a passion for it all after I have earned the degree? When should I really move out? What part of the city should I move to (north or south or somewhere in the middle) Will I be able to pay all my bills on my own income? Can I really handle being a 100% adult responsible for only myself? These are my thoughts floating in this head of mine. Although I have all these doubts and questions one thing remains certain.

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." -Romans 8:28

Keeping The Faith & Renewing it daily

Enjoy The Video...

Do You Ever Get That Feeling????

Do you ever get that feeling? You know the one...Whenever you know someone is going to play a huge role in your life? I personally haven't had this feeling since well to be quite honest probably the 8th or 9th grade. See whenever you are young its perfectly acceptable to say "that person is going to be in my life forever!" or "I just know they are special". Now that I'm adult I believe I am suppose to suppress these feelings as they are probably just wishful thinking, but with you I just can't. I feel you strongly on my heart, but I also hear God's gentle voice whispering patience and guidance. I had to get this out in writing. God is molding my heart into the woman I am meant to be. You will be a huge part of my life and I know it. So I guess this is just a note to the unnamed person....I feel it. That's all you need to know. :)

Getting Past Your Past.

Right now we are in a series called "Getting Past Your Past" at church. It has re-awakened alot of things I have had buried in my heart. Here recently at work I have been beginning to know/learn about my co-workers. As they are getting to know me I have told them my crazy history in life for such a young woman. As I look back on these things I feel sick. I have feelings of fondness and loathing over my time with him. How is this possible? I guess with all that is going on in my life I look back at my time with him as a moment of independence. I had my own apartment and I felt needed (even if it was just to do laundry, clean house, cook, and go to work) I miss feeling so necessary. I know it sounds nuts. I also fear I will never allow myself to fully feel again for another man the way I felt for him. It will be a year next month since it was officially over. I guess I just feel like a fool for still hurting from it all. I have noticed with serious breakups and divorces it seems as though one moves on so swiftly its insane while the other never fully recovers. A walking joke trying to smile and act as if they are okay while on the inside they have built a brick wall with barbed wire and electrical currents protecting the contents of their small piece of a heart they have left. I forgave him some time ago and he has forgiven me but that being said, why can't I move on? How do I backtrack and pick up the pieces of my heart I have lost along the way to make it full again? I know I'm made whole and complete in Christ. I just wish I wouldn't have gave such a big portion to him...that's what happens though whenever you make someone else the reason you live rather than God himself. I'm just having an off night reminiscing about things I have no control over. I've got to get past my past. I'm working on it so hard!

Lets Dance...

M. Ward's cover of Lets Dance by David Bowie. Weirdest thing is I never connected the 2 together because it sounds so different and I'm not a crazy fan of 80s pop. Anyways here are a couple of images that I see in my mind as I listen to this lovely little number...





As you can see I day dream about certain songs in mostly black and white this is one of them.... A random music blog.

P.S. If you ever drop by starbucks check out their pick of the weeks they debut free music via itunes weekly from upcoming and well known artist!

The Blogger's woes

It seems as though you can never please everyone, nor do I try to. I must say though here recently I have done my fair share of making people angry with my beliefs and expressions whether it be via twitter, facebook, or blog. I feel its only natural to address this as it has been occurring oh so frequently. Here are my views and key points.

1) My blog, facebook, and twitter are all MINE where I am free to say as I please.

2) If you don't like it please don't click on the link. If I didn't want to hear your opinions and ideas I wouldn't go to your site.

3) Don't be concited enough to ASSUME that I am talking about you. If you do well you know what they say about assuming...

4) If I do feel like blogging or facebooking about you I will. If you confront me about it I will give you my honest reasons as to why I did. I am obviously an open book so confrontation is not a big deal at all for me!

5) These are all thoughts, ideas, and opinions I have formed based on what I have seen through out life.

6) Finally Enjoy it! If you are not enjoying my blog then I'm sorry I don't entice you, don't waste your time reading if its that lame and unenjoyable!

<3 <3 <3 Meg D.

**I will be here for a while**